I’m back from my weekend in the cold dank woods. Must now shower. Weekend was not too eventful. It was cold and we drank red wine and listened to the Moose game on a very very statical radio. I am still very cold. Want to shower and get warm and cozy and wish tomorrow will never come! Stupid work. Busy week upcoming. I think I am busy everyday after work. Shit I better do some transcribing this afternoon. Boo.
Better wash off this stank.

what a weird fucking up down day. So I finally talked to joel for the first time since the birthday party incident. i don’t think i really realized how much i hurt him but it was seriously a big understanding and i really didnt mean to take everything out on him. I was so fucked up that night. What a horrible horrible night. A night I don’t really want to reflect on or really ever talk about again. Anyways Joel and I made ammends and talked. Apparently he is now seeing someone – it hasnt been very long – but he is seeing someone. Funny to think that like 2 months ago I was going to confess my love for him. And of course I want what I can’t have. Well kinda not really but it does make me kind of confused. I mean he has always kind of been at the back of my mind… you know. But after that night at my birthday I was kinda glad i didnt confess my love, bah. The signs all point to not meant to be. Leave good enough alone.

the yay:

Andrew is coming to visit! yayayayaya This makes not getting a camping fast for folk fest that much bettER! andrew is coming for over a week from like July 3 until after folk fesT! yaya we are gonna have an amazing time at folk fest!!! He is coming the weekend before folk fest so I get to take him to Minaki!! Then folk fest is like wed night on! he just casually dropped this bomb in a work email at the end of the day and I totally freaked!! I called him and was like done deal you are coming! and he was like deal. that;s like in just over a month! I was dancing throughout my house and jumping around with excitement!

the boo:

Jessie still hasn’t left chicago?! wtf I was so looking forward to her being here tonight. grrr.

the meh:

I gotta get going in a few to do an interview. I am pretty sure that I am heading out to the lake tomorrow after work. Gotta get the old backpack out – the one I used to use everyday until I got an office job n got all profesh. Definitely bringin out the onsie – gonna get cold at night! Just wanna lie on the dock in the sun. Dare me to go swimming?? Maybe if it’s nice enough…but it’s probably going to be chilly. I’ll be back sunday.

Ah thank “god” tomorrow’s friday, eh mouse?

cuddling with cats watching (half assly) hockey. want to climb into bed and finish watching monday’s new episode of jon and kate equals hate plus eight. i feel that after typing all day at work and then coming home and doing transcription I am all out of words. tired. went to the bay after work because i heard there were $20 bathingsuits – ya old hag bathingsuits – ewww tried on lots of things and bought nothing – well my mum bought me an old lady bra – it’s my new style – sexy old school bras. none of that padded shit, i am talking straight up thin silky layer (which your nipples show through) that kind of retains your natural shape and feel when squeezed with said bra on. sexy shit. and fucking comfortable!

this week feels like it’s taking forever!! ok tomorrow is thursday, thank god! i think going out on monday night to the moose game – which was wicked – fucked me up because i dont usually go out on monday nights. So being hungover and tired at work on a tuesday felt freaking weird – next week that will be my wednesday as game 2 of the calder cup finals is tuesday night GO MOOSE GO! we bought 15 tickets to the game. it’s gonna be a shit sho! and my kssing cousin jessaroo will be back for the game. actually she is driving back tomorrow – yeeeehoooo! yes i will have a friend in town!! ya ya ya excellent! i will have someone to hang out with on week nights! and perhaps ends as well. we can do fun things! real pumped for return to this fair city.

ok overtime hockey is on, i guess i should pay attention…..

Go into the bathroom and put the camera on the towel dispenser and hit record! NOW DANCE!

Jessie didn’t quite understand that dancing and singing are very different things. Still a killer vid!

Ferg perfects the dance dans le bathroom a la Chicago.

It is beautiful outside and I am sitting here with a lemonade, unfortunately sans gin, with what i think is a bee that just flew into my hair and soaking up some rays. I shouldn’t stay out here long as i dont have sunscreen on and my black laptop is getting hot. I thought I would enjoy the sun now as it is suppose to rain for the next few days.

I feel that I have been pretty productive this weekend. Cleaned a bit – but I have more to go aka my whole dresser needs cleaning.throwing out clothes. I did some work on both of my secondary jobs. Got my transcription foot pedal from work working on my mom’s computer. Watched Hounddog last night aka the Dakota Fanning rape scene movie. It was very good but very very depressing and i usually dont watch those types of movies very often. I like comedies lame, normal, and dark. But it was a very moving movie and almost brought me to tears. I went to see the movie The Pool on friday night. We went to the early show and were the only people without walkers and canes. It was actually shocking to see so many old people in one places and be the youngest by 50 years. The Pool was also good. I probably wouldn’t have picked it myself but it was a cute story and I enjoyed it nevertheless. It was made by an American director who knows nothing about Indian culture, but yet it wasn’t in english and was a good adaptation from an american based story. We watched the 3rd period of the hockey game and then went out for late night cake/burgers. A very low key weekend but well enjoyed overall. Nice and relaxing! And today is still young! Maybe i’ll do some more cleaning or watch movie, kinda wanna make some frech spring roles…. mmmmmmmm g’day.

oh and i can barely see what i am typing because i am outside. so if post doesnt make sense that is why.

Okay I am finally going to post some pics from my recent excursion to Chicago. Wow these pics kinda suck so I will post a few and then some glorious bathroom dancing videos.

J

Jessie with her cake which had a picture of them dressed up as Kiss for Hallowwen one year. This was at the after Grad ceremoney party where they renting the top floor of the bar for the eveing. It was nice.

Jessie and Me. Have we switched to Gin/Vodka tonics at this point

I don’t even know…

The $27 shot of whiskey (we had to reach a minute of amount spent)

The next morning Ben went out and came back with what he  called a hangover cure in a bag and  apparently a Blackhawks cake was part of that cure. The lost that day and cake remained in tact.

Me on Sunday morning trying to quickly cure the hangover before we had to rush off to meet our parents at the Cubs game.

A bloody mary was part of this cure, as was sitting on the back porch.

Coffee, bloody mary and gaterade.

Wrigley field two hours before the game started.

Sitting in the bleachers.

Is it time for beer? This eventually ended up helping us along in our heat stroke/exhaustion. Hangover + beer + 6 hours in the sun = inability to move

Yay Cubbies!

Great view!

We found even bigger beers for only 25 cents more! we thought it was a good idea at the time.

Back at Jessie’s apartment, absolutely exhausted. Luckily there was a 2 hr season finale of Desperate Housewives on! Jessie and I cuddled in the chair the whole episode!

Food for thought. This is what I have decided. I do not want to label who I am based on what I eat. With labels and titles come expectations and judgments. I have decided that I am just going to eat what I want to eat when I want to eat it. I don’t think my eating is going to change all that much but I no longer what to abide by restrictions and morals and value and shit because if you eat something that “you are not suppose to” then you just feel bad about yourself or others judge you etc. But saying all that I have absolutely no cravings to eat meat or drink milk or eat eggs, but if that chocolate bar looks really really good, I am not going to deny myself. Or if that gross liquid nacho cheese looks real good at the Cub’s game, I am going to experiment and see if it is good (and it really really was!). I just want to free myself of labeling myself according to what I eat. I no longer see it as a way to identify myself but I see as a label that comes with too many expectations from other people and myself that I no longer want to adhere myself to.  /rant

I am gonna go clean my room and see if I can get rid of some clothes.

I am so tired. Watching 30 rock in between periods of the pitsburgh/carolina game. So yesterday I went for my eye check up and there was a prisoner with 3 guards in the waiting room. He had leg shackles. There was also this really cute old couple who wear deaf and were yelling at each just to talk. He was reading a copy of Glamour and was yelling out the headline and laughing, “30 things you should know about sex before you’re 30″ and “Know your body.” My mum and I were cracking up. There was also this really annoying 14 year old girl and her mom. The girl was not wearing a jacket and was wearing a flowery tank top even though it was cold and rainy out. She also never took her nose out of her magazine when she was called up to the desk to check in and made her mom do all the talking. She also at one point was playing with her mom’s cell and deleted all her pics and her mom was all upset and the girl was trying to grab the cell phone back from her. Fucking spoiled brat. She really pissed me off.  Anyways I waited for 3 hours for a 5 min check up. Eye looks good. I have to wear glasses for 3 weeks. over and out.

That I go to Chicago to an Optometry School Graduation and the day after I come home I spent three hours at the hospital because I lost most of the sight in my right eye and am in increasingly searing, burning pain. When they finally brought me back into the little room full of eye doctor stuff – where they ended up leaving me for an hour – I was in so much pain that I was on the verge of having a full on panic attack as I thought i was dying I was in so much pain and I was all alone in this room while people laughed outside the room while I made noises of pain. When they finally saw me I was hysterical and they put numbing drops in my eye I have never felt such relief! Unfortunately those dont last long. So I cut my cornea – huge cut- across my pupil – so that’s why my vision was very blurry and it was infected. So they sent me to an ophthalmologist and he gave me a prescription for antibiotic eye drops – to put in every half hour – opps i think its time again – phew it’s getting easier and easier to do that. and then he also gave me a prescription of T3s – which really didnt end up doing anything as I was in screaming pain last night. Anyways i decided to go to bed because I couldnt even watch tv as it was so bright. I woke up throughout the night and put in the drops and started feeling better throughout the night. So I am no longer in screaming pain but i am so swollen and in slight pain. I am going back to the Dr in a few hours. Man seriously it is just one thing after another with me and my family! Again I am home from work! I hope to go back tomorrow though. I think i’ve been to work one full week once in the last 6 or more weeks. bah! The View is on.